TUESDAY - AUGUST 2, 2005

10:16a – I got up fairly early this morning. (My stomach was bothering me). I have things I need to do today, but I fear I will have a problem getting motivated.

11:14a – I am on the phone with "Angie" at the court house now. Trying to find out if I still have to go to court on the 4th or not. I finally spoke to Mr. Andrew Baldock, Assistant State Attorney. He confirmed that the date has been postponed until the 19th and when I told him of my transportation plight, he said that he would arrange to have a police office give me a ride (since several officers are apparently being subpoenaed also). That's great. I was not looking forward to hassle of another public transportation safari.

3:12p – I just returned a phone call to Ms. C. Basile. She was away and I left voice mail for her. 6:38p – I got more caulking done in the bathroom around 4:30p. Just got back from the store. Skip is over at Hobi's I think, showing him a printout of an auger machine that he wants to rent to dig the post holes.

7:08p – I have to go out and mow a section of grass for Skip now. He just tore down more fence.

9:17p – Supper is going to be late tonight. Skip is contributing. We are going to have chicken and pasta in some variation. Still not sure what...

10:20p – Supper is smelling good. I think I made something we can both eat. Too much of it though!

10:43p – I have to shower! Supper was great, but I have not bathed in a couple of days. GROSS... I NEED to get under some hot soapy waters...

11:02p – Ahh... I just took a hot shower and scrubbed down clean. It feels SO good!

11:18p – Skip had to criticize me further about my going out to weed eat at midnight last night. I told him that I thought he had gone to his room to smoke a cigarette as he often does. The movie was "paused" and I rarely PAUSE a movie. The controls were still sitting by his side of the room (he never remembers to place them in the middle and equally accessible). So I went out and did some weed eating. I did not realize it was so late and he is still flipping out over it. Whatever....

11:21p – Regardless, I am off to bed now.

WEDNESDAY - AUGUST 3, 2005
Birthday wishes to Dave Melson

6:12a – I am up early this morning. I just made some hot soup. Skip is not even up yet. I have been laying in bed awake, so I figured I would get up and have some soup and see if I can get back to sleep.

2:16p – I got a call from Ms. Basile around 12:30p today. We discussed my case at length. I appears, as I suspected, that I will not be able to realistically pursue the matter. The big organization will once again get away with it's wrongful conduct and worm its way around the laws. What's the point of making such laws if they can't be upheld anyway? I will not be disheartened though. I did what I could do. I will put it behind me. Our system of justice in this country has become a travesty, but that's nothing new. Hopefully there is a higher power to which certain people will have to answer in time. Meanwhile, I will just try to keep doing the right thing and maintain my honor and integrity. What else can one do? Not much I fear.

2:41p – I got two of the false shutters sanded and painted. They should be about dry now. I need to walk over to Wal-Mart soon, but my back has been hurting. 4:20p – I just got back from Wal-Mart, Schnuck's & Q-Mart. My back is knotted up in excruciating pain. It's getting to where I can't walk any distance before I am incapacitated. 7:31p – The roast is in the oven. I am going to go out and help Skip with the fence now. I do not look forward to this. I don't feel too good tonight as it is.

11:02p – Supper was SO wonderful! I finished watching the first episode of Harry Potter while it played. After watching (most of) Shaft, it was most pleasant. Anyway... I am off to bed now. Skip is not working on the morrow.

11:13p – Supper was great. I am off to bed now.

THURSDAY - AUGUST 4, 2005

2:51a – I did not feel good this morning and ended up sleeping until almost noon!

Skip and I have been burning yard waste out back. I think we got most of the dry stuff burned, but the green stuff will have to wait and dry more.

9:28p – I am cooking something sort of Thai oriented today. Cubed chicken breasts in coconut milk with steamed veggies. The veggies include (fresh) onion, carrot, bok choy, spinach and green bell pepper; plus bamboo shoots (canned & frozen), cashew & almonds (roasted), mushrooms (canned) and... I think that is about it.

11:54p – My "Thai" supper was not all that great, but it was okay. I am off to bed not though.

FRIDAY - AUGUST 5, 2005

6:58a – I got up a few minutes ago, mainly to let Kira out and to go to the bathroom. I went in the kitchen and Kira had pulled the trash can over and had disgusting garbage ALL over the kitchen! I was furious! Last night while I was gone to the store, we think she snuck into Skip's room and ate all of Barnabas' food. I have been very upset with her. I am going back to bed now. I feel nauseous (and picking up all the trash did not help). I need to take my morning pills, but I'm afraid I will heave them up again if I do, so will wait a while.

8:05a – I laid back down, but that didn't last. I am wide awake now, so I got up and put some leftovers from supper on the stove to heat up. I looks like the Sci-Fi channel has Andromeda showing all day.

8:22a – I couldn't eat the food I just made. I feel to nauseous.

I went to bed for 2 or 3 hours until the phone rang. First it was a telemarketing ad; then it rang again and it was, of all people, Shirley Sirota! I could not believe it was her! How cool! I worked with Shirley back between 1983 and 1985 when I was Administrative Assistant to the City Attorney.

I managed to get the kitchen cleaned up and the living room straightened. That was about all I could handle today.

Skip came home about 6:45p ... just as I was leaving the house. I waited for him him before locking up. He paid me rent. I took his movie (Miss Congeniality II) back to Block Buster, then went over to the Dollar Store. I picked up various items including paper towels, plastic plates & cups and Onion powder. The I went to Q-Mart and got some Okra & and some Tater Tots (and beer, of course).

11:04p – I cooked supper tonight. Spicy Chicken strips (in coconut milk); spicy okra, mashed potatoes in ranch sauce, bi-color corn on the cob and gravy. I have also managed to clean up the kitchen as I went.

11:33p – Supper was ... good!

11:47p – I am showered now; fresh and clean!

SATURDAY - AUGUST 6, 2005

7:16a – I just woke up from a bad dream. It started off in that I had a job working at a grocery store. I should have known it was not going to be a good dream when I realized that the manager was run by LR's daughter and LR was the owner. I was reading a document that they gave me and trying to figure out what I was supposed to do with it. I was also holding a conversation with a little Muslim girl named Rama. Suddenly there was a commotion and coming in from St. Louis were many many violent tornadoes! I was trying to figure out where to go and the tornadoes were headed right for me. I kept thinking, WHY didn't I bring my camera with me. My cell phone was in my pocket and I was going to give Skip a call at home and tell him to take pictures of the tornadoes for RD, but now they were so close I could see they were ripping up buildings and slicing through bridges as they came over the Mississippi. I heard people screaming and some woman near me asked, "what are those people going to do?!" ... another woman, closer to me said, "they're dying!" I looked around from somewhere to go, but I was under an overpass and I knew it would be shredded and I would get smashed. I was starting to panic and searching for a solid place I could squeeze into and hope for the best. It was so realistic and so detailed. I awoke in a panic. I still feel disoriented. I think I will go back to bed now. Maybe I can go back to sleep. (My eyes feel droopy now, in fact, but I feel shaky).

12:00p – I finally got up after more bouts of disturbing and chaotic dreams. They wear me out.

6:26p – This day has zipped by! (As will happen when one sleeps in so late). I got my June and July Photography folder backed up to DVD this afternoon and I got

8:20p – The lawn is watered, but it needs mowing again. Pills are taken, dog is fed, and now I am considering doing some more work in the bathroom (ie, caulking).

Skip is continuing to work on the fence (despite saying he was taking this weekend off from it). He is so eat up by mosquitoes and poison ivy!

Marty is supposed to be coming over tonight. The barrel is full.

8:24p – Marty called. He will be over in about a half hour he says.

I am trying to back up data to my 2000-2003 DVD... but I am not confident that it will back up correctly. So, I am making a copy of the DVD before hand.

SUNDAY - AUGUST 7, 2005

1:21a – I just dropped my Wash U glass as I was walking into the kitchen. It cost about $6 and one would think I should be at least a bit upset. However, I had a feeling of vindictiveness as it bust and splattered on the kitchen floor! Silly of me, but... what can I say?

Skip had to give me a hard time about cleaning it up. I finally told him to have his way with clean up and I went to the bathroom. He can clean up to his hearts content.

1:25a – Anyway... I am off to bed now.

5:15a – I got up for a few minutes. Went back to bed.

9:30a – I got up. Felt awful. Made small pot of brothy soup & noodles. That helped. Skip got up after me, around 10:00a.

1:17p – I am so sleepy again.

MONDAY - AUGUST 8, 2005

I was very depressed today and basically tried to sleep the day away. Of course I couldn't. Then this afternoon I discovered that I had a phone message from my cousin Wanda and and letter from her brother, my cousin Bobby. I also had a message from a Ms. Gruen, a job recruiter. I spent about 30 minutes on the phone with her in relation to a possible computer support job.

TUESDAY - AUGUST 9, 2005

I got a call today from "Jason" ... in relation to the possible job position. He ended up calling 3 times today. The third time he said they wanted to present me to their client. However, in our discussion that fact that I do not have a valid ID came up and I've come to realize that there is no way I can get employed without one. I can't get a job, I can't drive a car, nor can I even vote.

I also worked on getting a PETITION FOR NAME CHANGE written up. I will have to get to the courthouse and submit it (and pay $223 which I can't afford). I am so disgusted by this entire affair, and so disenthused with my country.

WEDNESDAY - AUGUST 10, 2005

I got up reasonably early this morning. I did not get much accomplished today though. The Tsalagi site has been extremely busy today and I spent a lot of time responded to and moderating traffic on that site. I splurged a bit and paid for the MPEG4 CODED upgrade.

I walked to the store. It looked like it might be going to rain, so I left early. I was too late... the bottom fell out when I was about 2 blocks from the house. I got soaking wet. The wind was blowing directly toward me and the rain was blinding me. Lightening was striking nearby and thunder was crashing. I was just about to the house when there was a flash of lightening ahead of me. I could not see where it struck since the rain was in my eyes, so I wiped my eyes

off on my shoulder and look up just in time to see an expanding shockwave of air driven rain from lightening blast! I felt a blast of warm air as it whooshed over me and rain stung my face. I made me way to the house, post haste! That was TOO close for comfort! Here are some shot I took of me and the rain (which turned to hail) right after getting inside. 

I cooked a chuck roast for supper tonight.

THURSDAY - AUGUST 11, 2005

10:05a –  I spent another night mostly awake. I got up before 7:00a and made a bowl of soup with the intent of going back to bed, but as usual, I am am still up. I actually have the bread machine running this morning for the first time in 2 or 3 years! I am making some wheat bread.

Jack and Adam should have left California on their way to Cleveland this morning. The will be staying here one day this weekend. They expect to arrive late Saturday or early on Sunday. It will be good to see them again!

6:36p –  Lisa picked me up about 1:03p. I was on the phone with yet ANOTHER job recruiter trying to get me to moved to Chicago and work at O'Hare International Airport. Too bad I have to pass it up. Lisa, Hanna and I went to the bank first, but the ATM machine was down, so we went across the street to the Quick Trip. She needed to pick up some cigarettes. Then were going to go back to the bank (I though) but she forgot and we headed to St. Louis. We had to drive by some place in Clayton where here wedding reception is going to be, the we went to the Unemployment Office and renewed our status with them.

From there we went to Hardee's (where we had THE worst service!), ate a bite and waited for Chen to come pick up Hanna. He arrives precisely at 3:31pm and Lisa and I headed back to Cahokia. She dropped me off at Wal-Mart where I spent about $46 on some bulk items, including more dog food for Kira. I thought she was on her last bag, but when I go home, I discovered She still had one. Well... she is stocked up for a while now! I have 3 big bags of food hidden behind the sofa.

6:44p – Skip go home a little after 6:00p and just got up from his customary nap. I just took the bread out of the machine. I had forgotten about it! It smells good, but it got a little condensation moisture from sitting in the machine too long. I haven't made bread in SO long! I should get back into the habit.

11:30p – I made a massive supper of batter fried chicken breasts, fried okra (with tater tots), bi-color corn on the cob, and flour gravy. Skip made some garlic-cheese mashed potatoes. I am STUFFED! ...and off to bed.

FRIDAY - AUGUST 12, 2005

8:42a – I had a long and complicated dream this morning. I can't remember the first part of it, but my memory of the dream begins as I am leaving a large building. In the front of the building are some sloping black bricks, and I slide down them in my bare feet. They are a bit gritty. It is raining outside and water is pooling. My location seems to be at the corner of Bumby and Colonial Drive in Orlando. The moment I exit the big glass doors in the front of the building, I start to run with a short, shuffling pace that seems to result in amazing speed, yet little use of energy. I head off across the courtyard and then East down the pseudo-Colonial Drive, with rainwater spraying up on each side of me as though I were a speedboat. At first I am on the South side of the street, but there is no traffic and I cut diagonally across to the other side. There is something in my memory about a newspaper article, and from that article, I knew that some person (I don't know who) was staying at a motel somewhere along this strip, in a small cottage behind the motel. This cottage maintained a Christmas decor, year round. The rain had turned to snow at some point and I hit a section of motels. They ALL seemed t have a Christmas cottage in back. I tried to remember the name of the motel I was looking for, but could not. I got to what I knew to be the end of my search area and went inside some building. I don't remember the details of what happened in this building, but I was looking through some newspapers trying to find the article that would tell me the name of the motel (or the person?) which I was searching for. In the foyer of this building, I ran into Anna Langenburg and some man in a tie. Anna was quite inebriated and could barely stand up (which is odd... I don't even know if she drinks). I commented to Anna about getting her email, and then thought to myself that she would not remember me telling her. I left the building and headed North down a dark and deserted road. The road was narrow, and I realized I was going the wrong way. I turned around and running back the way I had some. It was dark out and I saw the light of a car coming up behind me. I was running on the edge of the road, but was concerned the car might hit me, so I moved to the shoulder and continued running through grass and weeds. I was still barefoot, and was concerned that I would step on something. I head back down the Colonial drive back and at this point I began to wake up. I resisted waking very strongly. I felt such a compulsion to find this person. It was very important, but I could not remember why. I struggled to remember the newspaper article, but it would not come to me. I finally woke, despite my attempts to stay in the dream, with a feeling of disappointment that I did not find what I was looking for.

9:06a – As I was writing the above dream sequence, I was reminded that on this day, in 1976, 29 years ago, I arrived at the Orlando Airport. This was before it was known as the Orlando International Airport (OIA). I wonder if that had anything to do with my dream seeming to be located in Orlando?

11:09a – I went out to weedeat this morning! That was very industrious of me. But I only did a little bit when the battery died. So, I came in and FINALLY hung the charger up on the wall in the laundry room so the weedeater will be OUT of the kitchen and in its own proper place. It is hanging and recharging now. I tried to get more caulking done in the bathroom, but ran out of caulk. So after the weedeater had charged a while, I tried doing some more weedeating, but it had not charged long enough and died again. Later I went the the store and bought more caulk. I was in the midst of doing that when Kira had a massive accident in the kitchen! So I had to quit caulking again and clean up after her. I got a little more caulking done, but then realized Kira was feeling sick. She did not even want to touch her food! I gave her pills to her and she just laid them on the floor. Not like her at all.

SATURDAY - AUGUST 13, 2005

1:51a – Kira just got me up to let he outside. The first thing she did as she hits the kitchen is run see if she missed any crumbs in her food dish. ... I know that means she is feeling much better. Very relieved here. At her age I worry about everything little thing. Well..<yawn> she should be ready to come back in now so I can go back to sleep...

She did not want to go back to the bedroom to sleep. I guess she wanted to lay on her cool tile in the living room

9:02a – Got up. Went to check on Kira. Well... she had another accident in the kitchen, but she does seem to be feeling better. I am barely awake, but off to clean up the mess. At least she did not have her accident in the living room as she usually does.

9:29a – That chore is done. What a disgusting way to begin the day! I checked the weedeater and the "ready" light is still not on.

11:40a – I've had a bite to eat and now I am sleepy. I need to get motivated and start cleaning the kitchen, but I feel so lethargic.

12:12p – Jack just called. It looks like they are not going to be here until Monday afternoon now.

I have got a lot done today. My bedroom is MUCH improved. I got the large storage tub from the shed and I have placed most of my linens in it, then placed it under my night stand (another, smaller tub) to make a better night stand. Not very classy (I know) but efficient.

9:35p – Marty just arrived with the post-hole digger. 10:11p – Marty is here. We are sending a picture to his cousin. 11:15p – Skip is so pissed at me for not fixing his supper. He wanted to have Chicken Parmagiana with Fettuccini. I have no problem with cooking this, but he did not mention it until 9:17pm. I had already purchased my own food and had supper prepared. Whatever. I have had too much beer to try to cook a major meal now!

I think he just put "The Stupids" in to watch. That seems so appropriate tonight.

11:41p – I just ate my supper. Skip's pizza arrived (while he was in the bathroom, of course). I am going to take a shower and crash now.

11:42p – The pizza guy just returned (Skip needed to pay).

11:53p – I am out of the shower now. I feel SO refreshed! I am off to bed. I hope Kira is good for the night.

SUNDAY - AUGUST 14, 2005

3:25a – I woke up and was laying in bed contemplating some dream I had just had and was listening to Kira panting (which often wakes me up). I thought she must have lain too close to the floor fan or something, because it suddenly stopped its incessant susurrations and all became quiet. It took me a moment to realize that the power had gone out. It came back in about a minute, but of course, all the clocks and VCR's are blinking.

3:45a – I let Kira out and I see that it is STILL pouring down rain. I am sure this had something to do with the power outage. The computers were all rebooting. This one is back up & running (obviously), and I am headed back to bed. I let Kira out for a bit, but I don't know if she did anything. She does not like to get wet!

8:06a – The power seems to have stayed on through the night. Unfortunately, my "File Share Pro" program hit the end of its trial period and won't run unless I purchase it. I did not realize it would do that. It's not THAT great of a program. I wouldn't mind having one that was a bit more flexible.

11:14a – Skip has already most of the post holes dug. Just a few more to go along one side of the fence. Even using the auger, it is still hard work. I don't think he could ever have gotten through the roots and clay with just the post hold diggers. Marty (and JR) came by this afternoon and picked up the auger. Skip had finished digging all the holes. He gave us a ride over to the store. It was cloudy and starting to sprinkle rain. We went into the Dollar Store and it began to rain more seriously. Then we went to Schnuck's and the rain was really starting to come down. Fortunately, it mostly quit while we were in Schnuck's. We bought nearly $40 worth of stuff to make shish kabobs when Jack & Adam get here.

I made massive quantities of Chicken & Egg Plant Parmasiano with Fettuccini for supper, while Skip began some of the prep work for tomorrow's shish kabobs.

MONDAY - AUGUST 15, 2005

We got the living room picked up and most of the prep work done on the shish kabobs. Jack called and said they should be here in "mid afternoon." Skip has taken the day off from work.

Lisa Z. came by to pay me the money she borrowed and gave me a ride to the store. I picked up some beer for my guests and I (Skip already bought his own). Jack called me again while I was standing in front of Q-Mart to get better directions, but I could not hear most of what he was saying. It is cloudy and reception even worse than usual. However, when Lisa dropped me off at the house, there was a big 24' U-Haul truck in the driveway, so it was obviously they made it. We sat up talking for a while, but not as late as we thought. We all went to bed around 11:00pm. I dozed for a while, but woke up and watched TV until about 1:00am.

TUESDAY - AUGUST 16, 2005

Kira slept like a log through the entire night and did not need me to let her out once. I think all the excitement of Jack & Adam visiting had her all tired out! That's good for her I think. She seemed "content" to see them again. They were kind of taken aback at how much she is showing her age I think. 3:55p – After Jack and Adam left this morning, and Skip had gone to work earlier, things seemed so quiet around the house. It was kind of depressing. I ate a bite, then ended up going to bed for a long nap. I got up around 2:30 I think, and felt a little better. I have not done much today, but I did get the rose bushes trimmed, fertilized and sprayed with bug spray. They needed some attention.

I sent my COBRA statement to SIU today. I noticed that they said my past due amount had not been paid. I expressed some concern in my email about this. Mr. Peters advised me to call them, and I did so. To my dismay, they say they have never received any payments, and my COBRA was terminated as of yesterday! Mr. Peters is going to investigate further tomorrow.

I took Kira with me on my walk to the store this afternoon. She had the fun of flushing a rabbit out of a bush.

WEDNESDAY - AUGUST 17, 2005

12:01p – I got up around 9:00a. Got some laundry folded. I am starting to get depressed over my situation here lately. I just don't know what I am going to do.

1:54p – I put a second coat of paint on the shutters that I start 2-3 weeks ago. I may hang them today if they are dry. I pruned the tree in the front yard, fed the birds and mowed the front yard.

Oh! I saw a HUMMINGBIRD! Its was checking out my hummingbird feeder in the back yard. But the nectar was rancid and it flew off in disgust. So, I took down the feeder immediately, washed it out and made a fresh batch of nectar. 5:18p – I got the shutters hung (to my surprise) and I even took down the other set and cleaned them up.

6:09p – I am back from the store. The sun is finally shining.

7:22p – Pills are taken, Kira's eating, and Skip is in the back yard painting more boards.

8:35p – Skip has just pulled the hard drive out of his old computer and is going to try to install it into his new computer as a slave. Hmm.... we will see how THIS goes!

19:09p – I have some chunks of pork chopped up and simmering in the skillet. Not sure what I am going to do with them, but it's a start toward supper. I am off to take a shower. now.

11:20p – I fixed some pork (which I scortched) with veggies, and rice, for supper. I am eating it now. It's... edible. I am watching a re-run of "Star Ship Troopers." I remember when me, Nikki and Tom went to see this at the theater in Sanford. I miss Nikki a lot. I don't know what went so wrong with us, but I still love her and wish her well. She will always be part of my life ... <sigh>.

11:35p – I ate what I could, but it was not all that much. I feel kind of nauseous, in fact. I am going to bed now, but leaving the A/C off and the windows open.

THURSDAY - AUGUST 18, 2005

11:10a – I did not want to get up this morning.

5:08p – I have accomplished about nothing today.

6:13p – I have at least managed to get some dishes washed and the kitchen is in the process of being tidied up.

6:42p – The dishes are about done. I am shaking like a leaf for some reason. I don't know what's causing it.

7:23p – I just got back from the store and fed Kira. It is steaming hot out there.

10:45p – I've eatend and am off to bed. The kitchen it fairly clean. I am supposed to go to court tomorrow, but I have not been able to confirm my ride. We will see what happens.

FRIDAY - AUGUST 19, 2005

7:50a – I am up, showered, shaved & dressed... ready to go. I just called the State Attorney's office and left another message for him.

8:33a – The State Attorney, Mr. Baldock, just called. He says the trial has been postponed again, so I am not going in afterall.

12:38p – I am so bored bored BORED.

SATURDAY - AUGUST 20, 2005

I had a very productive day. Even though I slept in later than I had intended, I still managed to get dressed and catch the 11:26 bus and go into town. I borrowed Skip's bus pass. The bus arrived at 11:20, so it's luck I got out there early! However, as I got on the bus, I discovered the bus pass was missing! I was certain I had put it in my front right pocket. I called Skip and told him about it. I was afraid the card may have fallen from my pocked when I pulled my phone out to check the time. He rode his bike down the road, and sure enough, found the card! <whew!>. I was relieved.

The train was crowded since there was a Cardinals game today. I rode down to the Convention Center and called Skip again.

I had printed out some bus scheduled, but had left them at home by mistake, so I got Skip to check the times for me. The next Broadway bus was not due until 12:26. Nearly a half hour to wait. So I walked down to the downtown park (I don't remember the name of it). There was some event going on there, taking advantage of the baseball fans I suppose. The streets were crowded and traffic backed up, so I expected the bus to be late too. I walked around the park and took various pictures. I even chased a dragonfly around and got a couple of "okay" shots of it in flight.

The bus actually ran a bit early. I am luck I saw it (again!). I took the bus (actually, it took me) down to Soulard Market. I sure miss shopping there all the time like I used to. Before we moved to Cahokia, I used to go to an regular grocery store about 2 or 3 times year at most. I bought nearly all my food at Soulard Market. Of course, it's too inconvenient to do that from Cahokia, especially with no car. Again, I took some photographs. I think my skills with my camera are improving.

I spent a fair amount of time waiting in the Spice Shop. They had A/C running, but it was still hot. I was sweating and people were fanning themselves. I was #99 and #79 was being served when I arrived, so it was a long wait. Of course, I wandered around and took more photos! I ended up spending over $40 just on spices.

1:50p – Of course, by this time, my back was in excruciating pain, and I was carrying to satchels stuffed with goods. I made my way back out to the bus stop and caught the bus which ran at about 1:55p. I called Skip to see when the next outbound Cahokia bus would run and it was not until 2:18p. There would be no way I could catch that bus and would find myself stuck in the sun at 5th&Mo waiting for the next one (due to depart at 3:18p).

So I walked down to LaClede's Landing, taking more photos on the way. I got a couple of decent shots of butterflies and some brilliantly colored flower in the afternoon sun. I walked on down to Hannegan's where I had a couple of beers and my first food of the day. I realized I was getting hungry. I had not eaten all day! So I ordered a small house salad which was very refreshing and light and it took the edge off my hunger.

After my snack, I went to the LaClede train stop and caught the next train. Of course, the game was letting out now, and AGAIN the train was PACKED full of red-shirts! I thought I was not going to be able to fit on the train, but some people got off and I squeezed in. This was not easy, since I had a satchel full of good slung over each shoulder and my camera around my neck. Fortunately, 5th&Mo is just one stop away.

3:00p – I arrived at 5th&Mo with 18 minutes to wait in the sun for the Cahokia bus. Fortunately it was early and we got to board and wait in the A/C for few minutes. On the way home, I called Aunt Marlene and talked with her for a bit. I seems Lola is having problems and needed rent money, but Marlene only gets a small check every month. I don't see how she could help. She was thinking about making the 5-6 hours drive from Comanche down to El Campo to see if she could help, but then she said she can't drive at night, so I don't know what she's going to do. Not to mention the fact that the gas prices are so high at around $2.30 or $2.60 per gallon now.

I stopped by Q-Mart after getting off the bus and took my last picture of the day. I snuck a shot of Cindy (one of the cashiers) and later I sent her a copy of it as a surprise.

I ended up staying up very late tonight, and drank more beer than I normally do (but it is Saturday <shrug>). Kira and I took a late night walk to the BP station. She was already tired by the time we walked back. I had to keep stopping and waiting for her to catch up. That is not like her at all. Poor dear... she is getting so old. I think she is getting arthritis in her hips now.

SUNDAY - AUGUST 21, 2005

I felt pretty gross today, but I still got up before 9:00a. I don't know why I drank so much beer last night. It just seemed to be going down well, and I was having fun editing all my photos from my trip to Soulard. I did not get to bed until around 2:00a!

I was pretty lazy today and did not feel like doing much of anything. Around 3:00p or so, I finally got motivated to go out and sand and paint the second set of shutters (for the front of the house). I got the yard watered and around 6:00p Chuck called. He has a new car (and new car payments), which means he won't be able to visit on Labor Day weekend as planned. We are thinking maybe this October instead. He was telling me about his cat, Hercules. I am so happy for Chuck getting a pet as a companion. I think he really needed it, but I don't think he ever realized what he was missing in having a pet until he got one.

Meanwhile, I am debating on whether I should start looking for a puppy to be here for when Kira's time comes. She is getting very old and I see her age more almost daily. I love her so much... it is going to rip my heart out to lose her. But who knows... we may have a year or two left yet, with luck. I hate to think about it. Skip got festive for supper tonight and picked up two hens; one for each of us. He wanted to bake them "beer can" style. So we cooked the hens, plus corn, gravy, and fried okra. He was going to make mashed potatoes, but I pointed out that we already had enough food cooked to feed a small army on Thanksgiving day! Plus, it was getting late.

MONDAY - AUGUST 22, 2005

I slept badly last night. Kira got me up about 4 times to go outside. In between times, she was awake and panting and not sleeping well herself. Then I had a nightmare about a giant wolf. I was inside a house and it was outside bothering a cat. I tried to yell at it to chase it away, but I was feeling terrified and I could not find my voice. I finally yelled as loud as I could, "GO!!" ... and woke up. I had actually woke up yelling so loud my throat hurt!

1:49p– I couldn't get up until nearly 10:00, and I felt tired and worn out. I spent much of the morning updating my journal and checking email. Then fixed a bite to eat (left overs from last night's feast). I feel better, but I have not accomplished a thing today. I needed to go to the courthouse, but I think I will wait until tomorrow or Tuesday to be sure I have enough cash in my account to cover the $223 needed for the "Petition for Name Change."

3:19p – I can't believe it is so late already! I've accomplished about nothing today. I need to go to Wal-Mart. It looks like it could rain though.

4:11p – I got the shutters up. Now I just have the front door to repaint. That will be a more daunting task. Now I must be off to Wal-Mart.

6:45p – I got back from the stores (Wal-Mart, Schnuck's, Dollar Store, & Q-Mart) a little after 6:00p. It was sprinkling a little. John (next door) was out pulling up some weeds in the yard. I offered to loan him the lawn mower & weed eater. They are getting their yard all caught up again. It has been 3 weeks since it was mowed and was looking terrible. All the walking I did yesterday, added to my walk to the stores today has given me a nasty blood blister on my right little toe. Ouch! Actually it doesn't hurt much. Or it didn't until this evening. Now it is uncomfortable. 6:55p – Tiffany just brought the weedeater back. I guess I need to go see about the mower.

MY SORE TOE

9:00p – I just took a MOST refreshing shower. I did not get a bath yesterday after my escursion to town, walking in the sun, spraying insect repellant all over me (and some itchy med on my arm). Then I walked to the stores again today, mowed part of the lawn... I must have smelled RIPE! I feel so refreshed now.

TUESDAY - AUGUST 23, 2005

12:27a – I just gave Kira a quick bath. Maybe it will help her sleep tonight, and thereby help me sleep.

8:07a – Kira did not get me up once all night. I slept much better. The bath paid off for both of us. I still woke up around 5:00a and never really got back to sleep though. I finally got up a little after 6:00a and let Kira out. Skip was getting up as I was going back to bed. I lay in bed watching TV for a bit, then decided to get up.

I fixed some soup for breakfast made with bell pepper, onion, and asparagus, and thickened with potato flakes. I seasoned it with some gourmet pepper, chicken bullion, a little margarine and fried shallots. I added some of the very thin Chinese noodles. It was quite good, but now I am (as usual) getting sleepy again.

8:58a – It is cool and breezy out for a pleasant change this morning! The temperature is 69°! I turned the A/C off and opened some windows. 11:44a – I have been more productive today. I got the front door off the hinges and painted! It's still drying out back. I think I will get the front lawn mowed and then see if the door is ready to go back on it's hinges. 12:26p – I got the lawn mowed (even washed the mower off), and got the door re-hung! I just took a quick and badly needed shower. My poor back is really going to pay me back for all this!

12:47p – I think I deserve some lunch now! Oh... the temperature has gone up to 76°.

1:30p – I finally got a pot of rice cooking, and I have a fresh loaf of bread making. The bread should be done around 4:00p. I crumbled up what was left of the old loaf and put it out for the birds. There were 3 squirrels out there a little while ago (and hundreds of birds, especially sparrows). I took some hot soapy water out front and washed down that chair I have sitting in the front yard. Of course, who wants to sit out there? It's either too hot, too many mosquitoes, or raining.

2:25p – I made some chicken & rice and had that for lunch with some kim chee. I need to try to get the kitchen cleaned up now, but I am going to have trouble getting motivated now.

4:59p – I just finished weedeating the front and even trimmed up one side of the driveway. Of course, now I need one of those leaf blowers (which Jack detests) to clean the sidewalk & driveway. Jeez... my back is in agony!

6:34p – I made it to the store. Skip came in while I was there. I am watching "Star Gate Atlantis" now.

8:36p – I'm still watching SG:A and cooking supper. Making a chuck roast, mac & cheese and broccoli in cheese sauce. 9:25p – Supper is coming along fine. I have the mac&cheese made. I am making a cheese sauce with some of Skip's bacon chipped up in it now. 9:40p – The food looks good. The roast may be a little over cooked. I am not sure yet. 10:49p – I ate a plate of the food I cooked. It was great, but Skip is being a pain. We're watching FUTURAMA at the moment. An episode neither of of have seen. It's back on... 11:03p – I am full. Supper was good. Skip just went to bed. I am going now too. I need to go to Bellville tomorrow and file my petition for name change. I am not looking forward to this venture.

WEDNESDAY - AUGUST 24, 2005

My old diary has an entry on this date, 1995, noting the release of MicroSoft's Windows 95 Operating System.

11:14a – Wow... I slept so late. I just got up at about 11:00a. I did not intend to sleep this long, but I was sleeping (and dreaming). I guess I needed it.

1:23p – The bus runs at 1:39p. I am dressed and about ready to head out to the courthouse.

2:08p – I read the schedule wrong. The bus ran at 1:21p. I missed it. Will try again. The next one runs at 2:26.

8:51p – I got home about 6:00p. Very tired. I got the PETITION filed, but now I have to PUBLISH my intent to change my name. (Like ANYONE) knows my name as TERRELL at all! I feel I am being used. The problems I have been subjected to by my parents has become a source of income for the government. I don't want to say "it's not fair!" ... I just don't say that anymore. However, I will say "it's wrong... very wrong..."

9:09p – Skip is about to bathe Barnabas. I better make sure we have a med-kit on hand!

10:35p – Skip is mad at me for posting the above comment about Barnabas as I am apparently violateing his privacy... so please ignore it. He is also mad at me for having stuff in the oven and not knowing when it will be done. Well... it is done now, but he has stomped off to his room in a huff. Whatever.

11:01p – Skip has gone off to bed in his huff. I have eaten my supper. Too bad for him. I don't know what got his panties in a wad, but I would say he should have to his stuff in the oven sooner and not have had a coniption fit over my cooking when he wanted to. Whatever... not my worry...

11:15p – I am off to bed.

THURSDAY - AUGUST 25, 2005

3:23p – I have allowed this to be a very lazy day.

4:51p – I haven't done much of anything today, but I did get a call from the Social Security office. I was on the phone with for about an hour giving medical and employment details. I has been raining all afternoon. I think it may have let up enough for me to go to the store.

8:39p – I was able to go to/from the store without getting rained on, but right at 6:30p the weather got bad again. I was in the middle of watching The Simpsons when the satellite went out. I was going to watch Smallville at 7:00p, but I got caught up on the computer. The TV is still off now... 2 hours later.

This is mine and RD's joint venture for this evening. The backgroud was created by RD in Terragen and the animated "space ship" was my crude addition using Jacs's Animation Workshop.

9:51p – I have cooked a pot of spaghetti in cheese sauce with some fried onion & bell pepper to supplement the re-heated Chicken Parmasiano. Hope it's palatable!

10:27p – I'm off to bed now...

FRIDAY - AUGUST 26, 2005

8:13a – Wow...what a night of fantastical dreams. They wear me out. They were so many and so chaotic that I can't even begin to write them down.

8:34a – I just made a pot of soup with left over noodles from last night. It's too hot to eat now though.

I put beans on to cook this afternoon and then made jalapeño cornbread to go with them.

SATURDAY - AUGUST 27, 2005

Doug Cross and I moved into the Georgetown Apartments in Pinehills, Florida, on this date in 1985. This is where we were living when Skip moved from Oklahoma to live with us. We lived there at 1502 Silverstar Road until We built our house at 1815 Trumbull Street, Deltona, Florida, and moved in on October 26, 1988.

3:30a – Just got up to let Kira out. I feel rotten. I hope I feel better in the morning. (ie, when I get up for real).

9:59a – I got up finally, though I didn't really feel like it, and made a pot of soup. I like to make soup in the morning. I am always congested, and coughing. My stomach is always so queasy when I get up. The hot soup makes me feel better, settles my stomach, soothes my throat and clears my congestion.

10:06a – I had, amidst my usual cacaphony of chaotic dreams, one which held more clearly than most last night (or this morning, rather).

A DREAM... I was in a big store (like Wal-Mart). As I pushed the store cart about, I put 4 items in it. All four items were in small boxes. Two of the boxes contained aspirin. A third box contained hair color, and I don't know what was in the fourth box. In the back of the store was a small beauty salon, and it was here that I ran into my old friend, Barbara Jones. She was carrying with her a pair of sunglasses which were not hers. They had thick, textured rims and very dark lenses. They did not belong to Barbara though. I think she may have found them in the store somewhere. (She was being kind of secretive about the glasses). I believe I spoke with her, but I do not recall what was said. However, she went to the beauty salon's appointment desk and sat down with a lady to make an appointment. I lurked nearby, evesdropping and pretending to be shopping. For some reason beyond my fathoming, Barbara did not want the lady to know she spoke English, and proceeded to pretend only to know German. Much to Barbara's horror (and my amusement), the sales lady spoke fluent German! Without losing a beat, she reached under her desk, saying something like, "Lassen Sie uns einen Termin verabreden, damit Sie Ihr Haar geordnet erhalten," and got out a different set of paperwork (the German version, I assume) and continued chatting away to Barbara about setting up an appointment... all in German. At this point, I assumed Barbara would have to admit she was caught and how embarrassing it would be for her; but no! She just continued to pretend to speak German back to the lady in some incomprehensible gibberish! The lady's expressing dropped and, still speaking German, she said something like, "Oh! You speak one of the dialects!". Barbara nodded vigorously, smiling, and gibbered away with some more nonsense, ending with, "Ja! Ein Dialekt!" (Yes! A dialect!). I continued to wander on through the store, my attention now diverted to worrying about how I was going to pay for my items. Should I use my card? Did I have enough money in my account? When would have have another deposit made? Did I have enough money in my Wallet? I concluded that I had $59 in my wallet and that I would pay cash for the items. Meanwhile, as I stood near the checkout lines, deliberating what I was going to do, there was a young man, with short hair and dark skinned, possibly Latino, who spoke to me. He was wearing the gold-rimmed sunglasses and was commenting something about how attractive they made him look. I figured Barbara must have turned them in to the "lost & found" counter. I asked this of the young man, and he seemed perplexed that I should know where he got the glasses. Obviously he had claimed to be the owner of the glasses, though in reality he was not. Reading of the Dream... I had my dream analyzed by a Medicine Card reader today. Here are some of the results: "Weasel has an incredible amount of energy and ingenuity. Weasal eyes see beneath the surface of a situation to know the many ramifications of an event. this is a rare gift. Your powers of observation are keen, and silent weasal has a lot to teach you. You may at times appear to others to look a little guilty due to what you know from observing life and situations around you. it would not be a surprise to find yourself becoming a loner. people make a great mistake in sizing you up, they do not immediatley see your powers, but the first time they try to out smart you they will soon learn that your intelligence is greater than their own. Observe who, or what, needs attention, or a solution, and offer your assistance in your own quiet or discreet way. " .... [your card came out contrary <backwards/upside-down>] so.... "You may be lying to yourself about something you know to be true. This can be a lie on any level, for instance, storming the refrigerator at 3am and telling yourself 'no one will miss the half eaten portion of pie.' If you scratch someone else's car in a parking lot and leave a note, do not slink away just because you can. Face whatever it is you are hiding from being honest to yourself at this time is of utmost importance. Acknowledge that you have been doubting your feelings. Your abilities of observing all, your feelings, and abilities are not being recognized and are leading you to confusion. When you don't know how you feel or what is occurring around you, doubt becomes your barrier to progress and you may find a bit of paranoia creeping into your life. If you want to right the situation start by shaking the dullness out of your head and observing the obvious. No one can fool you if you watch your step. Honor your own knowing, seek the 'hidden reasons' and use discretion in the process. Be true to what you know is right, be honest and progress will follow." "These cards are representative of the teachings of our Native American ancestors and their belief in the medicine of animals. Teachings vary from tribe to tribe so here we are using the various aspects of each animals medicine to relay the lessons and life instructions that these animals have come to teach us." The one who actually put all this together is a descended from the Wolf Clan <ani-Waya>)

At this point the dreams changed and my memory of it fades out. The entire dream seemed to be about concern and deception. Barbara pretending to speak German, my pretending to be shopping (while listening in), the unknown young man pretending to own the glasses, were all deceptive concepts. Then, Barbara was concerned when the sales lady proved to be fluent in German, the sales lady was concerned when Barbara seemed to speak some unknown "dialect," I was concerned about how I was going to pay for my items, and the young man was concerned that I knew where he got the glasses.

Skip went down to Radio Shack this afternoon and FINALLY got a replacement for he remote keychain device (for the alarm system). This has taken FIVE months to resolve! Neary half a year. Radio Shack should be ashamed of their exceedingly POOR service (if the world "service" can even be used here).

5:55p – I just got back from Q-Mart. It's only 85° out, but it feels hotter (the heat index is only 89° though).

Kira got sick from something she ate in the back yard and started to heave earlier today. I rushed her to the front door and she barfed up whatever was bothering her. There appeared to be a big olive in it. I don't know where she got that. Then she wanted to eat it again! Gross! I had to practically drag her back in the house to keep her from "recycling" it. I then cleaned up the spot in the grass, and sprayed it down with water. Unfortunately, I forgot to turn the darn hose off and it sat out front soaking the lawn and running up the water bill for several hours.

11:57p – Marty & JR came by a while ago and got the cans. They left and I fixed some supper consisting of more beans & cornbread. (No effort involved). I am off to bed now, as soon as I let Kira in.

SUNDAY - AUGUST 28, 2005

1:39a – I just got off the phone with Calisa. We must've talked for over an hour. My right elbow is in pain from keeping it crooked talking with her! So... NOW I am off to bed...

10:36a – I finally got up. I thought it was later than this, but... this is late enough!

I had more wild dreams, and again they are too chaotic to explain. But I am going to try describe a segment...

I was a fish and my friend (a chicken) was laying eggs. In a hole (like a turtle). Yellow eggs (like egg yoke) with a hole in them (like a doughnut). Two (or three?) of the eggs got stuck together or something and we (the underwater barnyard?) were all concerned about the eggs surviving. I dove into the hole to try to rescue the eggs, but I accidentally swallowed them. Were the eggs harmed? No... but I popped up out of the hole (still a fish) and now I was like 3 fish in one (a kind of four dimensional fish!). I was semi-transparent, and you could see each of the three fish, layer upon layer, one within the other. I felt strong and powerful and others were amazed by what had happened to me. I swam toward the surface of the water like a bullet, breaking the surface and continuing high up into the night air. I had a vague concern about a raptor swooping in to catch me as I arced up through the air and plummeted back to the water. I swam back down to the Italian restaurant where I worked just as some important customers were arriving. Someone gave the alarm and a big green button was pushed, which was very important (though I am not sure what it did). More sour cream is urgently needed for the important customers, but we are out. I know someone who has some, but I am told to stay where I am, that someone has already gone for it.

That's about as much as I can remember and put into words. I wonder if my Medicine Reader would have a clue where to begin with this dream!?

11:51a – I heated up yesterday morning's chicken soup for brunch. I am feeling almost "normal" again.

1:30p – I have just finished redesigning my September journal page. I decided to split the birthday column and put family & friends on the left, and celebrities on the right. I like the idea so well, that I redesigned this page the same way. I also created a new header graphic for this month and next. I am glad I got some creativity out of the way today!

2:05p – I got the lawn mowed and pulled a few weeds. Taking a break to cool down. It's hot out there. I sprayed Kira down with the hose. She did not care for the cold water much, but it will be good for her. Skip is out working on the fence again. That's good. He has not been very motivated for the past week.

2:10p – I think I will see if I can get some weedeating done. It doesn't look like it needs it much though.

2:13p – I thought I would enter four $1 bills I have in front of me into the WheresGeorge system, but their site is down...

Welcome to Where's George?. ** Our site will be unavailable (for about 10 hours and 0 minutes) due to a system upgrade. ** We apologize for the inconvenience this may cause. Please come back after 8PM EST tonight. Thanks!. The purpose of this upgrade is to make improvements to the system, such as adding new hardware or making changes in software to offer new features. During upgrades or maintenance, we try to make improvements as quickly and as safely as possible. If you are new to Where's George? and found a Where's George? bill, please come back later to enter it, and see where it has been! Questions? Please see the FAQ Page or Email the Where's George? staff: Click Here.

2:17p – Oh well, back to the weedeating idea.

3:16p – I got more weedeating done, including BOTH sides of the driveway. I cleaned up in the back yard a little. It's basically a hopeless cause until we get the fence finished and the debris burned. It looks a little better though. I even washed the weedeater & sprayed WD-40 on it, and hosed down the mower before putting it away. I am pooped. I can barely type, my hands are shaking so bad.

5:04p – Just got back from Block Buster, Dollar Store, Schnuck's and Q-Mart. That was a long, hot walk, carrying a lot of weight by the time I got home. Here is a satellite view of where I walked...

5:08p – The blue line is my usual route from the house to Q-Mart. The black arrow is the way to St. Louis. Schnuck's had some good sales today. Chuck roast @ $1.89/lb., and chicken breasts @ $1.99/lb. I got two roasts, a package of chicken and four ears of Colorado bicolor corn for under $18. Not bad for prices these days.

5:11p – Now its time for a leisurely shower! I have worked hard today and am exhausted. I only had the chicken soup for brunch and later, around 3:00p, I fixed a bowl of brussel sprouts with side of kim chee and a can of fruit juice. That's all I've eaten today, plus all the exercise, so may I lost a little bit. (I know I have a head ache!).

5:27p – I feel MUCH better. Still tired and achy, but fresh and clean.

9:01p – I just finished watching The 4400. This is an awesome series! I am so moved by it all.

9:04p – Meanwhile, supper is in progress. I have the chicken baking in the oven and I am getting ready to make the mashed potatoes and fried okra.

9:29p – The food is going well. The potatoes are done, the chicken is done and I will be removing the okra from the burner before Skip gets out of the bathroom!

9:34p – I caught the okra before it became too burned, but that was what set off the alarm. We tend to call it the "Lee is Cooking" alarm. It's very sensitive and near the kitchen.

9:41p – I rented the movie "Sin City" for Skip today. He just put it in to play. It seems to be a black & white & red movie. Odd, but interesting effect. The movie itself seemed to be pretty boring though.

10:21p – Supper was good. Skip is doing some laundry and off to bed. (He's in the shower at the moment). I am headed to bed, wondering what wild dreams await me tonight!

MONDAY - AUGUST 29, 2005

4:33a – I am surprised, but I have not been bombarded by my usual barrage of wild dreams tonight. I remember dreaming something about dogs, but nothing specific. Speaking of dogs, Kira is outside. I figured an entry in my journal would give her enough time to take care of business. And speaking of dreams, the night is not over. I still may have a wild dream to report!

5:04a – I guess I am not going to dream, because I can't even sleep. I am so worried about my insurance coverage, my name change, getting my certificate of publication, my job situation, and so forth. I can't keep my mind off of these worrisome issues and so I am going to just get back up. Sometimes some hot soup will make me sleepy.

10:08a – I got sleepy (as intended) went back to bed just before Skip left for work, bout 6:45a. Of course, my sleep pattern is all out of what now.

Meanwhile, over in England RD is supposed to be taking her daughter to the hospital for a certain surgical procedure, and her car has chosen this inopportune time to die. She wasn't feeling very good to start with and now with all this hassle... well, I am glad we have an ocean between us, in case she goes postal on us! I am reminded of the positive side of the fact that I do not have a car. Not only do I not have to fix them, I do not get in a position where I am reliant upon one. So... I am mentally sending her positive energy and well-wishes. She needs all she can get.

11:24a – I just called the Belleville office of the St. Louis Post Dispatch to find out about placing my legal advertisement. Of course "all agents were busy" ... and I had to wait. Then after waiting, I had to leave a voice mail and wait for someone to call me back. Typical of today's telephone systems. It's very frustrating that one can rarely reach an actual PERSON by telephone anymore. All the automated systems seem to effectively block actual communication. Sad but true.

12:32p – I've made several more phone calls regarding this and was referred to other numbers, transferred, etc., until I eventually reached the voice mail of someone... once again.

2:09p – I got my name change notice filed with the Newspaper in Bellville for $65. I had to transfer some money over from savings to cover it. All I can do now is wait.

2:19p – Tina of the the Belleville News Democrat just called me. My notice will be published for the next three Wednesdays.

2:49p – I just got my October 2005 page ready to go. I'm over a month ahead now.

4:02p – I just came in from washing off some fence boards for Skip. I also moved the painted ones and stacked them aside, and put 9 more of the boards up on the sawhorses for him. I hope the dry okay there.

4:03p – Good news for a change! I got my insurance reinstated! That's a relief.

8:33p – I got some yard waste burned this evening. I now have a roast in the oven. I am going to make corn, rice & brussel sprouts to go with it.

9:29p – Well... the DVD I was watching (that Skip provided) of "Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy" bombed out about 3/4 of the way in to it. It was hard to follow and vague in the first place, then I lost the entire story line. I probably will not rent this movie in the future. I won't say "it sucked" ... but parts of it did. However, parts of it were also pretty great.

9:32p – Meanwhile, in the kitchen: Rice (with brussel sprouts) is done. I cooked the corn as per my recent readings. I brought the water to a boil, and cooked the corn for about 5 minutes. No salt (which will toughen the corn). I took it out of the water after cooking (so it does not continue to cook and become 'mushy'). We will see how the corn comes out. Skip is cooking his own "hamburger helper" dish, but he is going to have one of my ears of corn.

9:40p – I am ready to eat now I think.

11:04p – Oh my... supper was EXCELLENT! The corn was cooked to perfection! The roast was delicious. The rice and brussel sprouts was okay, but could have had more flavour. Skip and I ate our suppers while watching "Iron Chef" (Japanese contestants).

TUESDAY - AUGUST 30, 2005

2:19a – I was sleeping so soundly when Kira woke me to go out. I know I was dreaming, but I can't remember what I was dreaming. That's fine... "normal" even! I am off to bed again now, but I suspect my dreams will go back to the "electric" variety.

2:21a – I notice Skip has left a light on in the back yard. I supposed I should go out and turn it off, but I don't feel like braving the mosquitoes.

<sigh> ... my anal-retentive nature would not allow me to just leave the light on. I had to go out and turn it off.

5:20a – As expected, I had more wild dreams. One was so real. I was in my bed and Darlene was sleeping at the end of my bed. I knocked something over and it hit a toy vehicle which I had sitting next to the bed, switching it on. It was some kind of battery powered jeep or something. It fell off my night stand before I could find it (in the dark) and rolled up under my bed. I got out of bed and onto the floor, looking up under the bed. I had one of my little tap-lights and was using it trying to see where the toy went. Darlene woke up. She had a little kitten with her which came over to investigate me. I decided to get back up on the bed and see if I could reach down between the bed and the wall to get the toy, which was making an incessant whining noise. Then I woke up, but did not realize where the boundary of the dream and reality took place. I was still in my bed and I could hear the toy whining underneath. After a moment I realized Darlene was not at the end of my, bed and the whining noise was coming from my tower fan.

5:26a – Anyway, Kira is outside again. She woke me up from a completely different dream (which she was in). I and someone else were staying in motel. I think it was in Orlando. Kira was with us. I went outside with Kira and was trying to get her to come back in, but we were staying on the third floor and she was getting confused by the stairs. I was calling her from the third floor. She made it to the second floor, but then she tried to go toward the sound of my voice, which took her back down again. Also, Terry Wells was on the second floor and made some snide comment to me. Another part of this dream was a stack of checks which I had been called upon to deliver to employees. Looking through the checks, I saw they were coded for many different locations and I, having no transportation, was very concerned about how I was going to get this task done. I looked at several of the checks and they were all for the amount of $100. One was for a high ranking official, but it too was only $100. I figured that a group of people much have gone to some seminar and this was a per diem check of some sort.

9:55a – In another dream, I am at a banquet with a lot of strangers. They I discover they are from the local roller rink, and in fact, Debby Moyer is sitting at one table. She had lost so much weight and was so thin, that I did not recognize her at first. Them my mother joined us. She was, strangely enough, in a wheel chair. I show her pictures of the house in Florida before I moved and she see pictures of the back yard and comments on what a mess it was. I tried to explain, defensively, that it was because the picture was taken as we were getting ready to moved.

We left banquet, and rode the MetroLink train. She was going to the airport I think, and I was supposed to get off at the Central West End stop. For some reason, I got off the train for a moment, to speak to a ticket agent at a booth (there are really no such agents). I seemed to be concerned about getting a transfer slip. We were at the CWE station and I did not realize it. The train pulled out before I could get back on it, however. To my dismay, I had left my satchel and MY SHOES on the train with Mom! I saw here gathering my things together for me, so I new they would be safe, but here I was in a pair of socks and without my things. I decided to go on then, since I could do nothing else. I went up to street level to catch a bus. This was not a regular city bus, but a charter bus. (Maybe there were people from the banquet on it, I am not sure). I got on the bus, and it was crowded, with only one seat left in the back. Again, I was concerned about the transfer slip. I either needed to give one to the bus driver, or get one from her.

The bus pulled out and we began our journey (to where? I don't know). I made my way to the front of the bus to settle the issue of the transfer slip with the driver. Possibly I distracted her, but she made a wrong turn and turned into multiple lanes of fast oncoming traffic! To may amazement, none of the oncoming cars hit us, The I discovered why. Several cars and swerved aside and at least three of them had crashed violently. There surely could be no survivors, but I did see an older man and woman standing outside a wrecked car. Our drivers turned around under an overpass and came back around to see what she could do to help. I remember seeing one skeletal pieces of car frame rammed half way into a dirt bank (or cliff face?).

We got out of the bus for a bit. The dream had a transition here I think and Kira was with me again. We were still on the the bus. It was night time. We were stopped, but I don't think it was for the car wrecks, but rather for a rest stop. The bus started pulling out and was going to leave me.

I banged on the side of the bus and got her to stop. We had to put a clear sliding ramp down the back of the bus for Kira to get back in, so I had to push her up the ramp. I think I must have wakened at this point. I think Kira woke me and wanted out of the room. 12:05p – It is overcast out and I hear thunder off in the distance every now and then. The weather from Hurricane Katrina is likely to bring us some rain. The radard show some light rain on the way.

12:24p – Mr. Peters of SIU just called me. He decided we don't need to call the COBRA billing unit as he is "99.9% sure" that they simply found the missing check and applied it. I concur. The annoying thing is that I have missed my doctor's appoint last Friday, and now I will have to reschedule. I doubt that I can get a new appointment in less that 4 weeks. My first NOTICE should be published in the Belleville News Democrat today. I need to try to pick up a copy of it.

1:43p – I just responded to an email sent to me by my cousin. He was responding to an article I sent to him about socio-economic conditions in Finland, which were interesting and very eye-opening. I thought my response was worth preserving here in my journal, since it does express my current views and feelings very well.

PERSONAL THOUGHTS ABOUT THE STATE OF OUR COUNTRY TODAY (as written to my cousin on this date) Of course, I do not really want to move to Finland, but some of their practices did sound pretty good. Especially to me these days with all the hassle our new government is causing me personally. I am not even exactly a legal citizen of the US any more! I have become a 'man without a country' in effect. I don't know if you knew any of this, but you might find it of interest what can happen to a law abiding, hard working citizen of this country under our own version of The Gestapo, which we call the "Department of Homeland Security (DHS)." (Which, incidentally, uses former KGB operatives to help spy on US citizens). When I was born, my mother was married to Frank Lewis, though they were temporarily separated at the time. My grandmother (Mable Dabbs) delivered me at home in Waelder, Texas, and she was the one who filled out the paperwork on my birth. Contrary to my mother's wishes, she put down my true biological father's name on the b/c and my name was recorded as Bradford Lee TERRELL. My mother reconciled with Frank Lewis and he raised me as his son. All of my school records and other documents listed me as Bradford Lee LEWIS. I never knew my b/c had the name TERRELL on it until I was 13, and did not have it confirmed that TERRELL was my real father until I was 26 (when Mom passed away). I have gone my entire life as LEWIS with no problem. That includes school, military, college, and even employment in state, county and municipal positions. I had a driver license, paid taxes, voted and conducted all business in the name that I grew up with: Bradford Lee LEWIS. All that has changed now. With the coming of the DHS, the laws have changed. Many people do not realize how MUCH our county have changed, because they have not been personally affected by it (yet). I need to renew my driver license (or just get a state ID) and have found that it is impossible with my b/c having a different name from my social security card (which had never been a problem before). I realize the need for tighter security with so much terrorism going on in the world today, but I what I don't understand is how our country can place all the burden upon ME to correct something that was done by my parents and condoned by my government for over 40 years. (For example, when I enlisted in the Navy, I was told that my enlistment under the name of LEWIS constituted a legal name change). I was in the process of trying to find out what to do about this when I got laid off from my job last April. I have been all the way to my Congressman (Jerry Costello) trying to get the matter resolved. There is nothing I can do. I must go through the court system, paying fee after fee and jumping through all their hoops just to get my name changed. Meanwhile, (still unemployed), I cannot gain lawful employment in the US, cannot vote, cannot drive and cannot even fly anywhere with no valid ID. The process is very long to change my name (to the very name I have used all my life!). I am just today on day one of a three-week legal notice in the newspaper. Last week I paid $223 to file a PETITION FOR NAME CHANGE, only to find out that I have more fees to pay and more hoops to jump through. All of this just to get a court order from Illinois before going to the Bureau of Vital Statistics in Texas to begin the process of having my b/c amended (for yet more fees). So you can see that even though my comment about moving to Finland was a bit "tongue-in-cheek," I have indeed become quite disenthused with the direction the US has taken, especially under the Bush regime. I think it first struck home with me last October when I got picked up by the police on my way to work for taking a photograph (my hobby). You can read the details of that misadventure in my journal at... (Read the part in purple): link We here in America are propagandized too (and increasingly more so). We are taught that it is "the land of opportunity," yet I find myself a law abiding citizen, a veteran, a tax payer, is not even allowed to vote or work in this country. I am not saying we should go to Finland, or even to emulate them. As stated in the article, their circumstances are very different from ours. I just think we need to all stop and look at what is happening in this country and say "no more!" ... before we are all kept from being able to vote; or have a chance of stopping our country from becoming a war-era Germany. Already the signs are all around us with rising prices, inflation, tightening security and now the DHS with its KGB/Gestapo-like parallels. I love this country, but I fear for what it is becoming and how blind the masses are to these changes (for the most part). Especially the young people who are growing up with things the way they are and have never known anything different. Our government has grown beyond itself and is no longer the "servant of the people" as it once was, and as it was intended to be. It is, instead, ever becoming a monster, driven by greed and personal desires for wealth and greed. The checks & balances which held it together for so long and so well, are gradually eroding. I hope "we the people" can avoid repeating history and can pull this boat upright again before it capsizes and sinks. But if people don't know the boat is in danger of sinking, they continue right along the same course until they find themselves having to swim. And to extend that metaphor, it is likely to be in "shark infested waters!" For those who believe in prayer, pray. For those who believe in action, do something. For those still allowed to vote, do so! Oh.. and thanks for you counter-point view on Finland. It's good to have another perspective, especially from someone who has been there. I have not, so I have to rely on the perspective of others. (Of course, I cannot get a visa, so even if I could afford it, I could not travel there).

1:51p – I have still not been able to get motivated to attack the kitchen. I have been doing so much work outside the last few days, that I have not been able to get much housework accomplished. The kitchen drastically needs it!

2:40p – I just created my July page for 2006 in advance. It time for me to tackle the kitchen now and to quit procrastinating.

3:28p – I am making some progress in the kitchen. I am trying to make it fun my photographing the process. I plan on make an animated GIF file of the process and maybe a WMV file if S9 will cooperate with me. I just had to stop a chane the batter though. I am putting the gray battery in and recharging the black one. The gray one never lasts as long though. (The animation is over 1Mb. Sorry for the long download for this)

5:07p – Nearly two hours later and the kitchen is presentable again. That was a major ordeal. Of course it probably took longer than it should have because I was photographing my progress as I went. My gray battery went dead just as I was going to take my last shot. I am going to see if it has enough juice left in it to copy the files to the hard drive, but I suspect it won't.

6:40p – I did not head over to Q-Mart this evening until after Skip got home. About 6:10p. Fairly late for me. I came home and decided to wash out the trash bin with bleach. I think that's the first time it has been cleaned and semi-sterilized since we moved here two years ago. I am sure it needed it! At the moment I have my "kitchen cleaning" files transferring from the camera. I am using the black battery, even though it is only partially charged. I hope it doesn't mess up my battery!

6:47p – Still 9 minutes remaining for the transfer. I may as well go feed Kira early.

6:52p – Done. And I washed the 3 items in the sink. The transfer still has 3 minutes remaining.

8:01p – I just got the above "Lee Cleans the Kitchen" animation created. It is comprised of more that 120 photos, reduced to 30%, then reduced by 50%. It was still over 7Mb. I had to reduce it again by another 50%, AND reduce the color palette significantly. I finally got it down to about 1.2Mb. This is still a bit huge for a web page, but it is nearly the end of the month, so I won't be adding much more to this page.

11:43p – I have been trying to update my file structure, but it's not working. I made some what food for my creation of the night. It's very "special."

WEDNESDAY - AUGUST 31, 2005

12:11a – I just finished checking all me email. The TV just turned itself off in the living room. Skip just got up for a trip to the bathroom. I am going too bed in a few minutes. I am exhausted!

2)03a – I have been sleeping well, but Kira need out. <yawn> ... back to bed now!

4:20-a – Kira just got me up to go out again. I was dreaming something; something very inense. But for the life of me, I can't remember what it was. Total blank.

4:22a – I turned the A/C off this afternoon while I was doing dishes and opened all the windows. It still has not rained as expected, but the weather is coolor with Katrina's long arm brushing us. How ironic that the misfortune the storm is bringing to so many people is a fortunate thing for me. I might feel guilty if it weren't dark-thirty in the morning.

7:05a – More dreams. In one of them, I was taking notes in Esperanto, in pencil. For some reason, part of my notes were extended to the side of a trash can. There was a dark skinned girl who commented to me that she had natural language skills that were as yet untapped and I was trying to assure her that she could use these abilities if she put her mind to it.

7:13a – Then, just before I woke up, I dreamt that I was driving. I stopped at a signal and noticed that my right turn signal was on and flipped it off. I thought the light was about to change and moved forward just a little, but the light did not change. Then I noticed that it was dark outside and I had never turned my lights on, so I turned them on. I continued to inch forward a bit as I was sure the signal was changing. However, each time I moved the car slightly forward it became more and more difficult for me to reach the brake pedal. Another car had pulled up along my right side and then another one came in behind me... or behind the other car. Yes, it was behind the other car, because now I realized that I seemed to be driving on the wrong side of the road. I stuck my head out of the window trying to see if there was a yellow line, wondering how I could have ended up on the wrong side. There was, in fact, a cement median between me and the car to my right. I was thinking that as soon as traffic started moving, I would cross over in the intersection and correct my situation before I got pulled over. Then I saw a "red red blue blue" flicker reflected on something and realize there was a police car with his lights blinking somewhere behind me. Of course, he could be on other business, but I was worried he was going to pull me over. If the darn light would just hurry up and change, I would get back in the correct lane! By this time, I could barely reach the brake pedal at all. Frustration increased... and I woke up.

7:25a – It never did rain as I expected, and yesterday was my lawn watering day. I was so sure it would rain that I skipped watering the lawn. Now I am looking at the Doppler radar and it looks like we are back to clear (hot) weather again. 8:20a – I just made a bowl of soup from leftovers in the fridge. Soup must be one of the most ingenious inventions ever! The temperature is rising. Weather.com says it is 68°F, but it feel warmer to me. Probably because I was cooking. I bet its cooler outside than inside. 10:27a – The temperature has gone up to 79°F and I have turned on the AC finally.

11:05a – I just found my first PUBLIC NOTICE posted on line today. 1:27p – I went out and painted the other side of the boards Skip had laid out. I think I will go wash off some more for him now. I am really getting bored. 2:32p – I've been busy! I stacked the boards that I finished painting earlier and washed about 20 more for painting. The I pulled all the tags (several hundred) that were stapled to ends of the fence boards and pulled out as many staples as I could. Skip has been just throwing them on the ground, staples and all. One of us, or Kira are likely to end up stepping on one of the rusty staples, and all the plastic tags are blowing into the yard and making a mess.

Some of them were already buried under mud and I had to dig them up. Unfortunately, a mosquito ravaged my right ankle and it is on fire now. I have sprayed some Benedryl on it, but that stuff barely makes a difference to me.

After pulling tags & staples, I moved some of the boards, which have mostly dried, over to the saw horses for painting. I finished off a can of of paint this morning, so another one will have to be opened. I don't think this is going to be enough paint for the entire fence! I hope I don't have to dip into my savings again to buy more.

3:19p – YAY! Jack just got a job at a very upscale restaurant called Swingo's, in Cleveland. That's wonderful news for him!

5:21p – I just gave Kira a bath. Now I am going to let her walk with me to the store to dry off some.

5:56p – Skip just walked in. I have rescheduled the lawn watering starting today (every 3 days). I got the sprinkler going again now.

6:56p – Skip is out painting the boards I washed. I took my radio out today and set it up. I just went out and turned it on for him. It will help make the job less mundane.

I see Chad Smith, Principal Chief of the Cherokee Nation, has withdrawn his membership with the United Keetoowah Band. That has been an ongoing controversy in the Cherokee Nation.

And so ends August 2005...